"I don't want to be a woke asshole, but..."

What happens when a manosphere icon discovers empathy?

About two-thirds of young men agree with the statement “Having children is important to me,” but only about forty percent agree that they are “ready to be a father.” While fatherhood is a desired goal for plenty, many also have anxiety about whether they’re ready to handle everything that comes with the responsibility.

One such young man is Logan Paul. The YouTuber, boxer, pro wrestling personality, on-again/off-again crypto entrepreneur, and all-around manosphere influencer has recently embarked on a new adventure: fatherhood. On a recent episode of his reality show, Paul American, the influencer discussed his anxieties about becoming a girl dad and braced for backlash over what he believed was a “radical” statement:

“Thinking about having a daughter, my mind went to some dark places… I don’t want to come across like a woke asshole, but like, dude, women have it hard. Women have it fucking hard. And I empathize with them.”

The remark was met with unimpressed ridicule on social media. Based on our social listening, the far-right has largely ignored Paul’s revelation that “women have it hard”— similar to how they stayed silent when Paul backtracked from transphobic remarks about Imane Khelif last year. By the end of the weekend, Paul was back on Adin Ross’s livestream discussing the fine art of reselling Pokemon cards, with no mention of the above comments.

Yet the statement is notable because Paul comes from a corner of the influencer world that treats empathy as weakness and discussing others’ suffering as unacceptably “woke.” Paul remains one of the most influential people for young men worldwide, with some global branding measurements ranking him above top online personalities like KSI. He has over 30M followers on YouTube alone. This year’s WrestleMania, where Logan Paul’s drone-mounted-camera entrance was one of its most shared moments, was the most financially successful event in WWE’s forty-one-year history. While Paul American itself is struggling with views and reviews, it is just one piece of a self-reinforcing media empire that could disappear tomorrow at no material cost to its wealthy owners.

Whether Paul was sincere or performative remains an open question– he certainly has not cared enough to revisit his comments on any livestream since the episode aired. Yet, one could envision Paul’s comments, if they were sustained, starting a useful dialogue across political camps both about the importance of fatherhood and the challenges facing women. By many measures, men under thirty who are recent parents are more politically split than their childless peers. In fall 2024, men 25-30 without children preferred Kamala Harris by about a 39-33 margin; among those with children, Trump led 45-44. While no one has credibly identified the causal relationship, public opinion data often suggests young parents are more conservative than demographically similar non-parents.

Influencers like Paul, having cultivated audiences of impressionable young men now confronting adult responsibilities, could play a role in fostering these kinds of dialogues. But even if Paul was intent on having this conversation in a sustained way, it won’t be easy. Those to the left of Paul’s ideological camp leapt on this statement as evidence of an old truth: many men ignore or outright reject women’s struggles until they’re legally responsible for one. The right, meanwhile, has no need to discuss or dissect these views when Logan can easily stay in their good graces over a friendly Pokemon unboxing. Meanwhile, the social media algorithms are fine-tuned to push the content most likely to get the most engagement.

Most young men are excited for fatherhood, despite the natural fear of being unqualified. Young dads of all political persuasions deserve role models who encourage empathy rather than mocking it. Unfortunately, this is the culture that far too many young men are trapped in. No one should feel like a “woke asshole” for showing compassion. Hopefully, we will begin to see more influencers and content creators having these types of important conversations.